For those of you who have been reading my blog for some time now, you’ll notice that I’ve been struggling with Depression for a few years. Although this post isn’t about those mundane details, but rather how I’ve got more and more of my head above the water. I love images, because I’m a writer and they also help us construct a story others may fail to grasp initially.
Picture depression (in the emotion sense, at least) as having your head immersed in water. Sounds are dull, if you try open your eyes to see, your vision is blurry. This is what’s it’s seemed like looking back at it. It’s still there, I can still slip into that dark isolation if I don’t monitor myself, just like two beer glasses may tip a man over the edge and end his marriage. What I’m trying to say is this year I’ve done away with having my head thrust in the water.
As the year comes to an end, we naturally look back at the progress and mishaps that have shaped us in it. For me it’s been a year of firsts. One year and oodles of changes that has been exhilarating.
This year I’ve had my first:
Well paid full-time job,
– Apartment (the rent I can pay because of my job).
– Deck of Tarot cards.
– Laptop (which has benefitted me hugely at work).
– Motorbike (and naturally my first few accidents along with it.)
When I put my legs between the engine of that motorbike, it’s almost magical. It’s something about having that raw, unharnessed energy pulling you with the wind. I also realize that we’re not that far away from the medieval era. We still wear helmets and gloves but only to protect us from crashing, and not an enemy’s pike.
If you’ve owned a car before, the first few weeks you get it you’re excited and drive it everywhere. After a while though, you just become used to it. Driving a car is practically like riding around in a smaller version of your house. A small little bubble, where you’ll hoard more cigarette boxes and CDs you’ll only ever listen to twice. I don’t think the thrill of owning this iron horse will wear thin.
At the end of everyday, I put on my heavy jacket then the helmet, and finally my knobbed gloves. It takes a bit of extra time to do all that, yet I can feel myself smiling on the inside whenever I do it. I’m preparing for the ride of my life. You can’t compare that feeling to anything.
Sometime back while I was in the process of getting a bike. I spoke to people, read magazines, and tried to get an idea of a good bike to get and what to look out for. Since it was going to be a substantial purchase on my part, I felt I at least needed to do the research. Anyway, the only thing that bothered me during my initial quest was the general negativity of non-bikers. When I told friends, colleagues and acquaintances of my desire to ride the road on two wheels, I was under the impression I was signing a death warrant.
Naturally bike accidents will be more gory, since you’ve got little protecting you from a far larger piece of steel. This wasn’t a great deal of encouragement, being told the amount of times I’m going to crash, before I got in the driver’s seat. The funny thing is I’m still alive writing this. Ok…I recently hit some gravel coming around a bend, and so I’m sitting at home with my foot up for a week, but I can live with that.
I remember speaking to an experienced biker (who worked at a Ducati shop). He said to me, “A general rule of thumb is every biker will have three accidents in their life.”
Considering this is the second time I’ve embraced the tarmac (with no broken bones) I’d say I’m damn careful.