Articles, Reviews

words for my father

Father Ballam hooking a big one.

My father is a warrior on many levels. He has risen up through the blizzard of a divorce. He soldiered through his own dyslexia and the currents of a busy family to conquer his Masters in Philosophy. (I better have another drink here this is starting to sound like a damn eulogy…and the bugger is still alive!) Allow me to reel this story in, the way one would clasp the steel nub of a coffee grinder’s arm. I can sum up my father in three words…

Fishing. Philosophy. Ideas.
These are the forces that drive him. They propel him onto the cold mud of a riverbank or into the furnace of concepts jostling in an academic paper. I know when he starts his 5 o’clock mornings ( a ritual the family has grown accustomed to), he first rustles around the kitchen like a wise old badger. To make his coffee he doesn’t turn on the kettle. Instead, he puts a pot of water on the stove and waits for it to boil.

Having a pint with the old man.

I remember being an angst-fuelled 23 year old telling him, β€œBut that takes so much longer!”
He looked at me, a warm smile filling his eyes.
β€œYou do not live with a woman and small children.”
His sensitivity, back then, baffled my own immature mantras. His modest income meant the houses he occupied where no mansions. In a nutshell, he would rarely give up his morning routine and at the same time…restrain himself so the family got enough sleep. Allow me to get back to the badger and his early morning.

My father in his element…or The Element perhaps?

Coffee in hand, he trundles to his favourite chair in the lounge. (If you read as much as this intellectual mammoth, you earn the right. Or perhaps, the chair finds you?) He sits down with a big red book of Rumi (a Sufi poet). It’s the perfect blend for him, mysticism and metaphor.

A gentleman always tells the truth. He allowed me to reel this fatty in so I could experience “the rush”. I compromised and said I’d take the photo as his hands were still full of fish!

Over the years poetry and books kept the two of us together. Much like a weekend for him, alone, pours cool consciousness back into his bones. He may not believe in a god, although he will make an effort to crawl back into nature to get in touch with something close to a Divine. Whether it’s internal or buried in the ripples of a rise…well, that remains to be seen.

Having another pint!

I love you Dad. Happy Birthday!

 

PhilosopherPoet

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Inspiration

The secret to living longer may be your social life

 

Transcript

Here’s an intriguing fact. In the developed world, everywhere, women live an average of six to eight years longer than men do. Six to eight years longer. That’s, like, a huge gap. In 2015, the “Lancet” published an article showing that men in rich countries are twice as likely to die as women are at any age.

But there is one place in the world where men live as long as women. It’s a remote, mountainous zone, a blue zone, where super longevity is common to both sexes. This is the blue zone in Sardinia, an Italian island in the Mediterranean, between Corsica and Tunisia, where there are six times as many centenarians as on the Italian mainland, less than 200 miles away. There are 10 times as many centenarians as there are in North America. It’s the only place where men live as long as women.

But why? My curiosity was piqued. I decided to research the science and the habits of the place, and I started with the genetic profile. I discovered soon enough that genes account for just 25 percent of their longevity. The other 75 percent is lifestyle.

So what does it take to live to 100 or beyond? What are they doing right? What you’re looking at is an aerial view of Villagrande. It’s a village at the epicenter of the blue zone where I went to investigate this, and as you can see, architectural beauty is not its main virtue, density is: tightly spaced houses, interwoven alleys and streets. It means that the villagers’ lives constantly intersect. And as I walked through the village, I could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes watching me from behind doorways and curtains, from behind shutters. Because like all ancient villages, Villagrande couldn’t have survived without this structure, without its walls, without its cathedral, without its village square, because defense and social cohesion defined its design.

Urban priorities changed as we moved towards the industrial revolution because infectious disease became the risk of the day. But what about now? Now, social isolation is the public health risk of our time. Now, a third of the population says they have two or fewer people to lean on.

But let’s go to Villagrande now as a contrast to meet some centenarians.

Meet Giuseppe Murinu. He’s 102, a supercentenarian and a lifelong resident of the village of Villagrande. He was a gregarious man. He loved to recount stories such as how he lived like a bird from what he could find on the forest floor during not one but two world wars, how he and his wife, who also lived past 100, raised six children in a small, homey kitchen where I interviewed him. Here he is with his sons Angelo and Domenico, both in their 70s and looking after their father, and who were quite frankly very suspicious of me and my daughter who came along with me on this research trip, because the flip side of social cohesion is a wariness of strangers and outsiders. But Giuseppe, he wasn’t suspicious at all. He was a happy-go-lucky guy, very outgoing with a positive outlook. And I wondered: so is that what it takes to live to be 100 or beyond, thinking positively? Actually, no.

(Laughter)

Meet Giovanni Corrias. He’s 101, the grumpiest person I have ever met.

(Laughter)

And he put a lie to the notion that you have to be positive to live a long life. And there is evidence for this. When I asked him why he lived so long, he kind of looked at me under hooded eyelids and he growled, “Nobody has to know my secrets.”

(Laughter)

But despite being a sourpuss, the niece who lived with him and looked after him called him “Il Tesoro,” “my treasure.” And she respected him and loved him, and she told me, when I questioned this obvious loss of her freedom, “You just don’t understand, do you? Looking after this man is a pleasure. It’s a huge privilege for me. This is my heritage.” And indeed, wherever I went to interview these centenarians, I found a kitchen party. Here’s Giovanni with his two nieces, Maria above him and beside him his great-niece Sara, who came when I was there to bring fresh fruits and vegetables. And I quickly discovered by being there that in the blue zone, as people age, and indeed across their lifespans, they’re always surrounded by extended family, by friends, by neighbors, the priest, the barkeeper, the grocer. People are always there or dropping by. They are never left to live solitary lives. This is unlike the rest of the developed world, where as George Burns quipped, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring family in another city.”

(Laughter)

Now, so far we’ve only met men, long-living men, but I met women too, and here you see Zia Teresa. She, at over 100, taught me how to make the local specialty, which is called culurgiones, which are these large pasta pockets like ravioli about this size, this size, and they’re filled with high-fat ricotta and mint and drenched in tomato sauce. And she showed me how to make just the right crimp so they wouldn’t open, and she makes them with her daughters every Sunday and distributes them by the dozens to neighbors and friends. And that’s when I discovered a low-fat, gluten-free diet is not what it takes to live to 100 in the blue zone.

(Applause)

Now, these centenarians’ stories along with the science that underpins them prompted me to ask myself some questions too, such as, when am I going to die and how can I put that day off? And as you will see, the answer is not what we expect. Julianne Holt-Lunstad is a researcher at Brigham Young University and she addressed this very question in a series of studies of tens of thousands of middle aged people much like this audience here. And she looked at every aspect of their lifestyle: their diet, their exercise, their marital status, how often they went to the doctor, whether they smoked or drank, etc. She recorded all of this and then she and her colleagues sat tight and waited for seven years to see who would still be breathing. And of the people left standing, what reduced their chances of dying the most? That was her question.

So let’s now look at her data in summary, going from the least powerful predictor to the strongest. OK? So clean air, which is great, it doesn’t predict how long you will live. Whether you have your hypertension treated is good. Still not a strong predictor. Whether you’re lean or overweight, you can stop feeling guilty about this, because it’s only in third place. How much exercise you get is next, still only a moderate predictor. Whether you’ve had a cardiac event and you’re in rehab and exercising, getting higher now. Whether you’ve had a flu vaccine. Did anybody here know that having a flu vaccine protects you more than doing exercise? Whether you were drinking and quit, or whether you’re a moderate drinker, whether you don’t smoke, or if you did, whether you quit, and getting towards the top predictors are two features of your social life. First, your close relationships. These are the people that you can call on for a loan if you need money suddenly, who will call the doctor if you’re not feeling well or who will take you to the hospital, or who will sit with you if you’re having an existential crisis, if you’re in despair. Those people, that little clutch of people are a strong predictor, if you have them, of how long you’ll live. And then something that surprised me, something that’s called social integration. This means how much you interact with people as you move through your day. How many people do you talk to? And these mean both your weak and your strong bonds, so not just the people you’re really close to, who mean a lot to you, but, like, do you talk to the guy who every day makes you your coffee? Do you talk to the postman? Do you talk to the woman who walks by your house every day with her dog? Do you play bridge or poker, have a book club? Those interactions are one of the strongest predictors of how long you’ll live.

Now, this leads me to the next question: if we now spend more time online than on any other activity, including sleeping, we’re now up to 11 hours a day, one hour more than last year, by the way, does it make a difference? Why distinguish between interacting in person and interacting via social media? Is it the same thing as being there if you’re in contact constantly with your kids through text, for example? Well, the short answer to the question is no, it’s not the same thing. Face-to-face contact releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters, and like a vaccine, they protect you now in the present and well into the future. So simply making eye contact with somebody, shaking hands, giving somebody a high-five is enough to release oxytocin, which increases your level of trust and it lowers your cortisol levels. So it lowers your stress. And dopamine is generated, which gives us a little high and it kills pain. It’s like a naturally produced morphine.

Now, all of this passes under our conscious radar, which is why we conflate online activity with the real thing. But we do have evidence now, fresh evidence, that there is a difference. So let’s look at some of the neuroscience. Elizabeth Redcay, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, tried to map the difference between what goes on in our brains when we interact in person versus when we’re watching something that’s static. And what she did was she compared the brain function of two groups of people, those interacting live with her or with one of her research associates in a dynamic conversation, and she compared that to the brain activity of people who were watching her talk about the same subject but in a canned video, like on YouTube. And by the way, if you want to know how she fit two people in an MRI scanner at the same time, talk to me later.

So what’s the difference? This is your brain on real social interaction. What you’re seeing is the difference in brain activity between interacting in person and taking in static content. In orange, you see the brain areas that are associated with attention, social intelligence — that means anticipating what somebody else is thinking and feeling and planning — and emotional reward. And these areas become much more engaged when we’re interacting with a live partner.

Now, these richer brain signatures might be why recruiters from Fortune 500 companies evaluating candidates thought that the candidates were smarter when they heard their voices compared to when they just read their pitches in a text, for example, or an email or a letter. Now, our voices and body language convey a rich signal. It shows that we’re thinking, feeling, sentient human beings who are much more than an algorithm. Now, this research by Nicholas Epley at the University of Chicago Business School is quite amazing because it tells us a simple thing. If somebody hears your voice, they think you’re smarter. I mean, that’s quite a simple thing.

Now, to return to the beginning, why do women live longer than men? And one major reason is that women are more likely to prioritize and groom their face-to-face relationships over their lifespans. Fresh evidence shows that these in-person friendships create a biological force field against disease and decline. And it’s not just true of humans but their primate relations, our primate relations as well. Anthropologist Joan Silk’s work shows that female baboons who have a core of female friends show lower levels of stress via their cortisol levels, they live longer and they have more surviving offspring. At least three stable relationships. That was the magic number. Think about it. I hope you guys have three.

The power of such face-to-face contact is really why there are the lowest rates of dementia among people who are socially engaged. It’s why women who have breast cancer are four times more likely to survive their disease than loners are. Why men who’ve had a stroke who meet regularly to play poker or to have coffee or to play old-timer’s hockey — I’m Canadian, after all —

(Laughter)

are better protected by that social contact than they are by medication. Why men who’ve had a stroke who meet regularly — this is something very powerful they can do. This face-to-face contact provides stunning benefits, yet now almost a quarter of the population says they have no one to talk to.

We can do something about this. Like Sardinian villagers, it’s a biological imperative to know we belong, and not just the women among us. Building in-person interaction into our cities, into our workplaces, into our agendas bolsters the immune system, sends feel-good hormones surging through the bloodstream and brain and helps us live longer. I call this building your village, and building it and sustaining it is a matter of life and death. Thank you.

(Applause)

Helen Walters: Susan, come back. I have a question for you. I’m wondering if there’s a middle path. So you talk about the neurotransmitters connecting when in face-to-face, but what about digital technology? We’ve seen enormous improvements in digital technology like FaceTime, things like that. Does that work too? I mean, I see my nephew. He plays Minecraft and he’s yelling at his friends. It seems like he’s connecting pretty well. Is that useful? Is that helpful?

Susan Pinker: Some of the data are just emerging. The data are so fresh that the digital revolution happened and the health data trailed behind. So we’re just learning, but I would say there are some improvements that we could make in the technology. For example, the camera on your laptop is at the top of the screen, so for example, when you’re looking into the screen, you’re not actually making eye contact. So something as simple as even just looking into the camera can increase those neurotransmitters, or maybe changing the position of the camera. So it’s not identical, but I think we are getting closer with the technology.

HW: Great. Thank you so much.

SP: Thank you.

 

Source: https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_pinker_the_secret_to_living_longer_may_be_your_social_life

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Reviews

Waiting to be Heard: A Memoir by Amanda Knox (review)

How it all began

You’re a young, adventurous, quirky, bouncy and free-spirited girl in your twenties. You develop a fascination with Italy, save up as much money as you can – and after a while – decide to go work/live/study there. You arrive in Italy and after some confusion with the new language find a great group of like minded students to share a house with. It feels like paradise…in fact at the time it really is. You work at night and study during the day. You meet a shy and intelligent computer science student. You fall helplessly in love for a week. The morning after a night at your boyfriend’s place you go back to your room to fetch a few things. One or two things might’ve been out of place, but you rationalize it away.

The worry starts to gnaw at you. You convince your boyfriend that checking the flat for a second time is a good idea. After returning with your boyfriend and a few others, you discover the flat mate you once loved is murdered (brutally, you later find out). This is when your whole experience of Italy changes… The police never trust you. You are interrogated for days in Italian. When the police can’t get the answers they need they slap you and shout louder. Your brain is tangled in your own words, and you give a confession that made sense to you (at the time) in your frazzled state. You’re denied access to a lawyer. You are stripped naked in front of a room of people to be poked, prodded, measured and checked. Once the ‘experts’ are satisfied, you are thrown in a van, driven to a prison, and locked up as you await your trial.

Italy is never the same for you again.

Amanda Knox arrives at her trial for the murder of Meredith Kercher in 2009
The book itself

Above is a brief summary of Waiting to be Heard by Amanda Knox. It is a memoir, and the first time she makes a public stand and tells her side of the story. I found it an accessible and really speedy read. It’s difficult to put down – and more importantly – extremely honest. The book deals briefly with Amanda’s arrival in Italy and the friends she met. That’s all over after 160 odd pages. The remainder of the book deals with her time in prison, and of course the trials in which she was first convicted, and then later acquitted for the murder of Meredith Kercher (along with other charges).

An online friend mentioned this person to me, and before reading the book I actually paid little attention to the media. Why? Well there was so much out there, and it felt overwhelming. So part of me said, “Let me listen to what she has to say.” I went and dug up interviews on YouTube of Amanda Knox. I listened to the way she came across and it felt sincere. I did subsequently glance over a few news articles on the internet, but avoided the tabloids like the plague.

When you listen to someone else’s side of the story, you learn something.
What I took away with me is that Amanda loves people. I felt touched reading her stories of the people she meant in prison, the songs she sung, and the meaning she put back into others. In my opinion, the media was so wrapped up in the final verdict and the courtroom drama it forgot about the people. There was little said about the prison in the media, whatever was said was tough to find.

Perhaps this is also a comment on public opinion. Why do we care about the end result so much? Why is it a big deal if a student smokes a joint, and has sex with one or two people? We leap onto our soapboxes and bring down the judgement without examining ourselves first. Everyone goes through a period of invincibility and throwing caution to the wind. Sometimes that’s the only way we learn.

Why I care?

Perhaps the only time we truly become human, is once we’ve learnt what empathy means. I could identify with this book because I put myself directly in Amanda Knox’s shoes. I am a similar age to her, and also Cancerian. The way I heard her talk about family and the weight it carried, I must’ve given her a few invisible high fives. She put her heart right out there and showed the events according to her, and I thought there was tremendous strength in that.

You can read online about the ordeal she went through, but she essentially lost 3 years of her life in prison for a crime she did not commit. Many people may have wanted to let the past be the past, not Amanda. I’m reminded of a DIO song titled Stand up and shout. That’s exactly what Knox eventually did. When something doesn’t sit well with you, there is no alternative. You have to have your final say. Being a writer as well, I more than identify with this notion. She had the sheer courage to stare at her old wounds and slowly describe and clarify each one.

Perhaps writing this novel brought her a sense of catharsis and closure. It would have done so for me.

waiting to be heard
Why read it?

Most of the time, it didn’t feel like I was reading anything. I was listening. Listening to the stories of people sculpted by Knox’s pen, and hearing the fears she overcame made all the difference. While reading it I couldn’t shake off the feeling that all this really happened. After being smeared and bad-mouthed by a variety of media, its refreshing to see someone speak with very little judgement in her voice.

To call an attractive girl a slut is a simple and ‘easy’ opinion. Rather take the longer road, listen for a while because maybe…she really does have a point.

 

PhilosopherPoet

 

 

Additional Reading

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Film

Seize the moment, don’t worry about your hair

Some say fate is beyond our command, but I know better. Our destiny is within us.Β You just have to be brave enough to see it. – Merida

 

Back in the good old days when we were still lobbing each other’s heads off with axes, and raising heads on pikes in praise, we did something else too. We told women how to behave. Every woman should be well kept, well mannered, speak when spoken to, and have no weapons at the dinner table. This was until a tousled Merida arrives from the Scottish highlands in the new Pixar film Brave.

Β 

Normally I choose films where real people and real dead bodies matter. Today I was babysitting my kid sister and her troupe of friends, and I was put in front of an animated film. I know I have the tendency to be a daydreamer, and this film was all about doing what you love, saving those you love, and choosing what is really important to you. I normally fall asleep when I read a synopsis of a film, I prefer to listen to (or read about) the layers beneath the storyline. So here is the storyline in two sentences…

A young girl is forced to be married and refuses in the hope a spell from a witch will save her. The spell goes wrong and now she is forced to protect the one family member she has been running from.

“Some say fate is beyond our command, but I know better. Our destiny is within us. You just have to be brave enough to see it.” These are the last lines of the movie. It rang inside me, and the theme of courage and chivalry run right through the entire film. It’s a pick-me-up movie reminding us that the bond between friends and our relationship will save us, despite the circumstances. I loved the fact too that there wasn’t a single American accent in the film. It’s a given these days since Pixar, Disney and Dreamworks are all based in the States. This was different and the fact it had a little fantasy woven in as well, was a little bonus for the bookworm inside me.

It was funny in parts, and meaningful in others. However, there were two questions floating around in my head during the film:

Were cartoons ever this fast?

Granted, it’s been years since I sat down at the Big Screen, and watched a full-length animated film. I like my storyline to flow a meaningful rhythm and single direction. This film felt terribly ADD to me. You’d have 15 minutes of a conversation, then suddenly the three little redhead scots come careening through and destroying everything, then another 10 minutes of plot. I felt at times the sudden change from scene to scene was a too fast and overwhelmed. Then again I’m also not a sugar-fueled 10 year old, so perhaps it’s a case of entertainment value and storyline.

When did cartoons become dark and violent?

Sometimes I think the movie creators forget that the bear with menacing claws on their 15 inch laptop, is translated out as a twenty foot bear growling at you. The opening scene of the movie is when a bear has his revenge on a scotsman. It must’ve been only 5 minutes, but my poor little sister next to me, just about crapped her pants before the film had begun. If it had been any longer, she was on the brim of her seat and was ready to flee.

I’m an adult, so I can rationalize and see that this film is a few well-oiled pixels, some voice actors, a decent screenwriter, and a cranky director molding everything together. A nine year old sees a 20ft bear and thinks, Holy Fuck. Get me out of here! There’s a long fight scene at the end with a bear who has arrows jutting out of his hide, a thick scar running down from the top of his head, and one yellow eye with no pupil. At this point the three girls I was with, all shrank together hugging each other trying to avert their gaze. The one girl said to me afterwards, “I couldn’t help it. It was very scary, but I still tried to watch so I could see what was going on.”

It is worth it? Yes, if you’re over the age of thirteen, and you no longer regard your teddy bear to be your best friend. No, if you’re younger than 13 and have a vivid imagination. Later on my step mom pointed out, that is handy when a kids movie comes out on DVD, because you can always turn down the volume a tad during frightening scenes. So don’t always listen to your friends, rather wait for the DVD. πŸ˜‰

 

PhilosopherPoet

 

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